I feel contemplative. This whole thing just isn’t my world sometimes.
Right now I’m just trying to assign the appropriate word to whatever it is I’m feeling right now. It’s sort of a sadness, awe, hopelessness, helplessness, fearful kind of thing, but with a vaguely positive spin. Hopeful depression? I don’t know. I work myself up (down?) into this horrible fit of self-loathing and fear and anger at myself before drawing other people in for comparison and imagining their problems, which leads me to expanding my sadness for everyone and dwarfing the problems I thought I had in the first place.
Is this called putting things into perspective?
If I am lonely and other people are lonely and we’re all lonely, does that mean nobody is actually lonely? If we’re lonely, is that our own fault? I think the majority of my problems are my fault.
What sort of mood is this?
I am absolutely overthinking.
